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All I Need to Know About Life, I Learned from Rocky Horror™


You've arrived on a special night. It's another one of my lists.

There are all kinds of "All I need know about life, I learned from...."lists out there, so I thought I'd add one of my own. "Rocky Horror"is a trademark of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation, and they are pretty serious about it. Many of the lines below were written by Richard O'Brien (who wrote the show). Of course, I added a few touches myself here and there.

Of course, if you're not familiar with the show, none of this will be funny.


  1. Don't dream it, be it
  2. In just seven days (and seven nights), I can make you a man.
  3. Castles don't have phones, so if you go driving on a rainy night, take a cellular phone. And check the spare tire before you go.
  4. You can remove the cause, but not the symptom.
  5. Don't get strung out by the way I look - I'm a wild and an untamed thing.
  6. It's not easy having a good time, but it is easy to smear your makeup.
  7. I'm a muscle fan, you'd better wise up, build your thighs up.
  8. There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure, unless you're in a southern state - then it's seven years.
  9. The only thing I've come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust. Toucha toucha touch me.
  10. Old Steve Reeves movies are not too abysmal.
  11. The future is ours, so let's plan it.
  12. Time is fleeting, so let's do the time warp again.
  13. Meat Loaf thought he was Divine. Divine was not amused.
  14. Stay sane inside insanity. Stay dry in the castle.
  15. By the light of the night, it will all seem all right. Of course, you won't be able to see it.

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This page, and some of its contents, are Copyright (C) 1996 by Steve Heyl,Denver, CO, USA.

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